Job Overview

Job Title: Junior Corporate Villain / Evil Operations Associate

Location: Brantford, ONEmployment Type: Full-TimeSalary: Competitive (We have acquired several smaller competitors to keep wages down.)

About Us

Welcome to Evil Corp., Brantford’s premier privately owned conglomerate dedicated to world domination, questionable business practices, and making the world a significantly worse place, one quarterly report at a time.

Founded on the principles of greed, intimidation, and unnecessarily complicated schemes, Evil Corp. is committed to bringing cartoonish levels of corporate villainy to the local community and eventually the entire planet.

We are currently seeking ambitious, morally flexible individuals who aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty (metaphorically, of course; our cleaning department is severely understaffed).

Job Responsibilities

Successful candidates will be expected to:

- Assist in the development of elaborate plans for global domination.
- Participate in weekly meetings discussing the elimination of our corporate rivals.
- Monopolize local markets through aggressive and deeply unethical business strategies.
- Conduct research into experimental doomsday devices, including but not limited to giant laser cannons.
- Help construct underground laboratories and suspiciously large underground bunkers.
- Occasionally kidnap the occasional superhero (prior experience preferred).
- Send threatening letters to competing businesses using company-approved stationery.
- Replace all office coffee with an unidentified substance known internally as Liquid Despair™.
- Ensure all company employees laugh maniacally at least twice per shift.
- Assist the CEO with pressing the big red button when instructed.
- Maintain the company’s collection of ominous red flags, skull decorations,



and suspiciously large monitors displaying satellite imagery.
- Ensure that no employee leaks confidential plans to the authorities, superheroes, or investigative journalists.

Qualifications

- Strong ambition and an unhealthy desire for power.
- Ability to maintain eye contact while explaining morally questionable business decisions.
- Experience in villainous monologues is considered an asset.
- Familiarity with spreadsheets, secret laboratories, and unnecessarily complicated machinery.
- Willingness to wear a black suit, lab coat, or unnecessarily dramatic cape.
- Must be comfortable working in a fast-paced, ethically questionable setting.
- Must not have any known affiliations with superheroes, vigilantes, or the Justice League.
- Previous experience in a secret underground organization is an asset, but not required.

What We Offer

- Competitive compensation (pending approval from the Ministry of Evil).
- Free access to our underground cafeteria.
- Dental and health benefits (assuming our experimental healthcare division works).
- Unlimited opportunities for professional advancement through corporate backstabbing.
- An exclusive Evil Corp. employee ID card.
- A company-issued evil laugh training seminar.
- Access to classified projects and confidential documents.
- Employee of the Month recognition, assuming you survive long enough to receive it.

Our Mission

At Evil Corp., we don’t believe in making the world a better place. We believe in making it our place.

Join our team today and help us turn Brantford into the headquarters of an international empire of questionable ethics.

Evil Corp. – We’re Not Hiring. We’re Recruiting Minions.

Equal opportunity employer. All applicants will be considered, regardless of their moral alignment, provided they are sufficiently evil.

Pay: $17.60-$48.97 per hour

Work Location: In person

📌 Manager (Brant)
🏢 Evil
📍 Brant