This is the season of year-end performance review. As I conduct performance reviews for my team and receive my own, I reflected upon my inner journey in receiving feedback. Growing up, I learned to brush off praises and compliments.

Perhaps, it was childhood conditioning where my mom would say “Aiyo, she’s not smart la. Your daughter is better, so disciplined, so smart.” I internalized that as: ? ?? ??? ???? ??????. ?? ????????, ??? ???? ???? ??????. ????? ?????? ???? ?? ????????. Whenever I had any achievement, I would say “? ????? ℎ??? ???? ??????.” When others complimented me, my reflex is - “ℎ?ℎ?, ?? ??. ??’? ???ℎ???.” I would brush off any idea that I did a good job and focus on what could be better.

I want to, yet I resisted acknowledging my achievements or valuable qualities. It is as though it wasn’t right if I gave myself even a moment to feel good about it. As though, I don’t deserve it. I felt held back, regardless of how much I have done or achieved.

Deep down, I resisted acknowledging myself because I was afraid.



I was afraid that this will mean that I have stopped being humble and will not improve anymore. It was tiring. One day, I went to a workshop and there, I learned to choose a more empowering thought: “I can acknowledge my progress AND be better” Yes!

It wasn’t mutually exclusive. I do not have to disregard my progress or achievement. I can hold them in my heart and bring them along as I move forward. I started practicing allowing myself to acknowledge my progress.

It wasn’t easy to feel that I deserve it. I used to only believe the performance improvement feedback and would feel awkward if I hear positive feedback. Now, I learn to say thank you. I spend more time celebrating success and I gained more confidence in what I am doing.

I feel ???ℎ???. Allow yourself to acknowledge the journey you have made and accept the positive feedback you receive. Instead of brushing it off, allow it to land within you. I am interested to know, ???? ?? ??? ???????? ???????? ???? ??? ???????? ??? ????? ???? ?? ????? ?????????

📌 Do you brush off positive feedback or say “Thank You”? (Sheshegwaning)
🏢 Towards Joy
📍 Sheshegwaning